January-Took scarf back to shop because it was too tight.

February-Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...HELLO bottles won't fit in typewriter.

March-Got really excited... finished jigsaw in 6 months, box said 2-4 years.

April-Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out...

May-Tried to make kool-aid (whatever that is) wrong instructions on packet...8 cups of water will not fit into those little packets.

June-Tried to go water-skiing... bummer... couldn't find lake with a slope.

July-Lost breast stroke swimming competition..found out later other swimmers cheated as they used their arms.

August-Got locked out of car in rainstorm... car got swamped as soft-top was open.

September-The capital of England is "E"... isn't it.

October-Hate m&m's.. they are soo hard to peel.

November-Burned turkey... baked it for 4 1/2 days...it said 1 hour per pound and i weigh 108.

December-Couldn't call 911... duhhh ...like there is no "eleven" button on the phone.