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       Posted by SWEETLASS1 Posted on July 12, 2007 View Comments 0      
24 Hours to Live...

Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.

Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Darling, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?"

Carolyn agreed and again they made love. Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realised he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said, "Darling? Please? Just one more time before I die." She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.

Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. "Darling, I only have four hours left! Could we...?" His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I'm not being funny but I have to get up in the morning, you don't."

       Posted by FUNPLAYMATES Posted on July 5, 2007 View Comments 0      
Wal-mart greeter

What it takes to be a Walmart Greeter:

An office manager at Walmart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found
four people who were equally qualified.

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.

Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table,  the interviewer asked,

"What is the fastest thing you know of?" Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied,

"A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning  that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer."And now you sir?" he  asked the second man.

"Hmm.! Let me see. A BLINK ! It comes and goes and you don't know  that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a  very popular clich for speed."

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.

Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the  wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the
pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and  thought he had found his man.

"It's hard to beat the speed of light, " he said. Turning to  `Bubba`, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh I can explain." said Old Bubba. "You see the other day I  wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but, before I could
THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already XXXX in my pants."

Old Bubba is now the new greeter at a Walmart...