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       Posted by SWINGIN101 Posted on April 28, 2006 View Comments 4      

While at Walmart....

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

       Posted by MARKETING Posted on April 25, 2006 View Comments 0      
Subject:RE: bit of a laugh


Check this one out...

Post it if you like, but it's funny!!


       Posted by CRAZYHORSEACE Posted on April 11, 2006 View Comments 0      
Alzheimers research

more money is now spent on boob jobs and viagra than on Alzheimers research, so by 2040 the elderly will have perky tits and stiff cocks but no fucking idea why!


       Posted by CRAZYHORSEACE Posted on April 11, 2006 View Comments 0      

a quickie:

what do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?




well hung!!!!


       Posted by HISBQ Posted on April 8, 2006 View Comments 0      
Two Old Laide

Two old ladies are sitting outside smoking.  Out of no where it starts to rain, so one of the old ladies takes out a condom, bites off the end, and puts it over her lit cigarette.

Helga says to the other old lady:  Mertle, what the hell is that.

Mertle:  It's a condom.

Helga: And why do you have it on your cigarette?

Mertle:  Keeps it from getting wet in the rain.

Helga:  Well where did you get it?

Mertle:  From the pharmacy.

So the next day Helga goes to the pharmacy and says to the guy behind the counter:  "Sir, I need some condoms".

The guy looks at her, in utter amazement (cause she's like 80) and says, "Well Ma'am, they come in lots of different sizes and textures.  Is there any particular one kind you'd like"?

Helga looks at him and says, "It don't matter to me as long as it fits a cammel"!!!!!!!