You might be a swinger, if...

• your coworkers are convinced you have no social life because you always change the subject when they ask about your weekend.
  
• when your coworkers talk about their sex lives, it takes a real effort not to yawn.
  
• your guy friends invite you to a strip club and you ask if it would be ok to bring your wife
  
• you've got a bunch of pictures of the two of you in a hotel room wearing brightly colored wristbands.
  
• your kids see your online Christmas card list and want to know who are "two4fun", "allwaysready", "carresusboth".
  
• your girlfriend wonders why you have both birth control pills and condoms in your purse.
  
• your Saturday night babysitter wonders why mommy already had her coat on when she comes out of the bedroom.
  
• your boss wonders why you're going to Orlando or Las Vegas "in the middle of summer for God's sake!"
  
• you both wonder if the sexy lady who just walked past you would like to mess around.
  
• you make plans to meet a "straight" couple at a nice restaurant, and realize you have absolutely nothing you can wear.
  
• the drugstore clerk wonders what you're going to do with four bottles of Scope, three-dozen condoms, and five bottles of Astroglide.

And the best way to tell that you might be a swinger is... 

• your neighbors wonder why they aren't invited to any of your parties.