Too damned smart for 1st grade

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Little Johnny, what is your problem?"

Little Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She marched Little Johnny to the principal's office. While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Little Johnny: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Little Johnny: "36"

And on it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know. The principal looked at the teacher and said, "You know, I think Little Johnny may move up to the third-grade!"

The teacher says to the principal, "First, let me ask him some questions, myself." The principal and Little Johnny both agree, and the teacher begins in "rapid-fire".

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Little Johnny: "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Little Johnny: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Little Johnny: "Pants"

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open wide, but before he could stop the answer...)

Little Johnny: "Shake hands"

Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin milky liquid?" (The principal's eyes really open wide, and before he can stop the answer.....)

Little Johnny: "A Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

Little Johnny: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "Now I will ask you some '"Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"

Little Johnny: "Yup"

Teacher: "You blow me, you feel good!"

Little Johnny: "Your Nose"

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come in a quiver"

Little Johnny: "An Arrow"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that makes for a lot of excitement?"

Little Johnny: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a long sigh of relief and exclaimed, "Put that boy in the fifth-grade! I got most of those questions wrong myself!!!