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       Posted by KIM Posted June 19, 2006 View Comments 1      
This will make you Smile

 


 


If you yelled for 8  years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound  energy to heat one cup of coffee.


 (Hardly seems worth it.)


 


 


 If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is  produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.


 (Now that's more like it!)


 


 


 The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body  to squirt blood 30 feet.


 (O.M.G.!)


 


 


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.



by KIM on June 19, 2006
 

Subject: Delia's Way


 


Delia's Way


Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.


 


The Real Woman's Way


Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.


 


 


Delia's Way


To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.


 


The Real Woman's Way


Buy smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.


 


 


Delia's Way


When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.


 


The Real Woman's Way


Tesco sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.


 


 


Delia's Way


If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.


 


The Real Woman's Way


If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."


 


 


Delia's Way


celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks


 


The Real Woman's Way


It could keep forever. Who eats it?


 


 


Delia's Way


Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.


 


The Real Woman's Way


Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont give a sh*t.


 


 


Delia's Way


If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.


 


The Real Woman's Way


Why do I have a man?


 


 


Delia's Way


Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles


 


The Real Woman's Way


Left over wine???? Hello!!!!!


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