Wife says to Husband "You make love like you decorate".   Hisband replies "What?  Very slow and professional?".  "No" she replies, "I have to finish the job myself".  ______________________________________________________________    Zookeeper says to Paddy "The Gorilla is in heat and we need someone to have sex with it.  Would you consider shagging it for £500?".   Paddy replies "I'll do it on 3 conditions.  1st, I'm not going to kiss it.  2nd, my family must never know and 3rd, I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together!".  _____________________________________________________________ 3 couples go camping, men in one camp, women in another.  1 bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and nudges his mate lying next to him, "I'm going next door to fuck my missus, I've got the biggest hard-on I've ever had".  "I'd better come with you then" his mate replies "cos it's my cock you've got a hold of !"