Dog food

have a Golden retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina
at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me
asked
if I had a dog?
(DUH!)
On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I
was
starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina
nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the
food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish
setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he
was laughing so hard!